June 17, 2018
Today is a perfect day, Father's Day, to wrap up this series. If you haven't been here the last couple of weeks, we've been talking about “What Keeps You Up at Night?” and a couple of weeks ago, I talked about fear and what God wants to do with that fear. Ultimately, we talked about we fear what we worship, and we worship what we fear, and that's our issue. It's really not a fear problem, it's a worship problem. Then last week, Keith, opened up Philippians and talked about Paul and his passion and what Godly passion looks like. Today, I think it's super appropriate on Father's Day, as we wrap up our season of life here on Highway 113, to talk about legacy, a Godly legacy.
Google defines legacy as this, so you know it’s true. It says "anything handed down from the past.” Legacy is anything handed down from the past. I've been thinking a lot about legacy due to Father's Day coming up, ending this season here at Southern Hills, and with my kids moving out. This just happened. I thought I had one kid moving out in the fall. I've actually got four now moving out in the fall. That's weird. Yesterday, we had a day at home and most of the kids were at home. It was chaos. Roger’s playing Fortnite, screaming at the TV and that’s going on. Then everybody eating food and going out to the pool and playing in it. A lot of action happening, at the Lovelady house yesterday afternoon. I started thinking about how weird it is going to be, for in a month my kids, and this is so cool, are moving to City Station. They're going to be living in the housing at City Station. That's exciting, because at least some rooms will be paid for by somebody. We're going to pay for that thing one way or another. We're going to make it happen. They're moving out.
Aiden's going there, and since he's doing online school he can live there. Then Roger said he wanted to live there. Elias is living there, and Kay-Kay is already going to be living there. It’s going to be weird. Just me, Natasha, and Micah. He’s getting ready to be a ninth grader and he's the one that you never know about. Is there any way… until he's hungry. You start thinking as a dad, I know you guys know what I'm talking about. You’re dads, and you wonder, "Did I do enough? What did I pass down to my children, because my influence is going to become less and less and less? What did I leave them?"
I’ll think about my marriage. I've been married twenty-two years, last Friday. That's pretty cool. I remember vividly when my parents, for whatever reason, had their 15th year anniversary. They had a celebration and I remember thinking that my parents were as old as dirt. They'd been married fifteen years and now I'm thinking, Man, I'm as old as dirt. But I have just been thinking about what kind of legacy am I leaving for my marriage and in modeling for my kids and handing down to the future there.
Then, of course, I think about here in Southern Hills and Highway 113. This upcoming November I will have been on staff at Southern Hills in one way, shape or form for twenty years. It's crazy. They ran out of positions to give me a few years ago, so they gave me the lead pastor. I've had every position up until then. Twenty years of memories! Twenty years of good and bad things happening, friendships, relationships, and God doing amazing things. Seeing a baptism! And we’ve got two more baptisms next service. Twenty years of legacy. What does that mean? I look out here now and I see some faces here this morning that I haven't seen in a while. It's awesome to see you guys.
The legacy of City Station is coming. What kind of legacy is that going to mean for our community and, ultimately, for the world? So I'm been trying to figure out what in the world do you talk about on the last day. Where do you go on the last day in this place? It's been weird emotions for me. Let's go back to Nehemiah. I went back and was looking at my notes. It'll be four years ago that I preached a series called “ Hand me Another Brick.” That was the first time we passed out these books and said, "Here's where God has taken us and here's what He wants us to do.” People looked at me cross-eyed saying, “You've lost your mind.” Right? But we all said, “You know what, if this is what God's telling us to do, then we're going to do it!”
God has done so much in the last four or five years and so much over the last twenty years, that I thought it'd be super appropriate to go to Nehemiah, specifically, Nehemiah chapter eight. I’ll be talking about what happened after the wall was built and what God's people did. I'm going to pray and then we're going to trace our Biblical legacy. Look back to our forefathers that went before us. What does that means for us today and how are we to live today? What is the legacy that we're leaving as individuals and that we're leaving as a church. Let's pray.
God, thank you for Your Word. Thank You. It’s alive and active, sharper than a two edged sword. Jehovah God, You have done so much. You've been so good. God, I know that You are continuing to move. You're moving right here in this place today, and so God, as we talk about this idea of legacy and what it means to walk out life with You, I’ve got to pray that You would just get me out of the way. I pray that we would clearly see who You are by your Word. God, my words are confusing, but where I muddy things up, I pray that You would clear up so that people can clearly see who You are, and what You want to do in their lives, and that You love them so, so much. God, encourage us this morning. God, convict us where we need conviction. God, work in this place. God. I believe this morning, there are people here that don't know You. I pray that your Spirit would just call it to them and today will be a day of surrender for them. God, whatever it is that You want to do, we just surrender that to You. We give it up to You. Now speak in Jesus' name. Amen.
So very quickly, just in case you weren't here, and you're not familiar with Nehemiah, I just want to give you a real quick history lesson. Basically a king, Nebuchadnezzar, that's a name that nobody can say, King Nebuchadnezzar was the king of Babylon. There were two major powers back in the day and it was Babylon and Egypt. Most scholars believe that the reason King Nebuchadnezzar decided to attack Israel, specifically Jerusalem was because Israel, or, I’m sorry, Judah had pretty much given their allegiance to Egypt. They had started to shift that way. Traditionally, they had trusted Babylon and started to form alliances with them. So King Neb came in and said, “You know what, enough of that.” He came in and destroyed Jerusalem. I mean, wiped it out, destroyed the temple, destroyed the wall, and took the Israelites in captivity. Eventually, that's where we start to learn about Daniel, Shadrach, Meshach and Abednego. Finally, another king of Persia took over and it was just this constant power struggle. I'm anxious at times, and surprise, surprise, it's nothing like that today. That was sarcasm, but isn't it amazing how just sideways we can get when we forget who the one true King is and what this world is really about and what this life is really about?
So Cyrus from Persia comes in, wipes out Nebuchadnezzar, wipes out the Babylonians. Again, this is where we learned about Daniel in the lion's den and, and those other guys. Then a couple of kings down, this king Artaxerxes is now king of the Persians. He's the Persian king and there's this person, Ezra, that comes to him and has this calling. There's a book that has this calling about restoring the temple. He believes much like Nehemiah, that his calling is to restore the temple. So he goes to King Artaxerxes and says,”I believe my God has asked me to restore the temple in Jerusalem.” So he grants him fifty thousand men to go to Jerusalem and restore the temple. About thirteen years later, the temple is restored, but nothing else is. The walls are still in shambles. The homes are still in shambles. Now you have fifty thousand Israelites who are living back in their homeland and who have rebuilt the temple. Nehemiah gets word that everything else is still in shambles from his brother. Nehemiah is the cup bearer to King Artaxerxes. You guys have heard me talk about the story before. He prays this prayer and he says, “Lord, give me favor with the king because I believe You've called me to rebuild this wall.” He prays and the king granted him favor. He gives him all the supplies, all the things that he needed. Long story short, he sends five thousand men to go with him, so now you've got fifty thousand men already in Jerusalem or Israel and you've got these five thousand other men who have now gone with Nehemiah to build the wall.
Okay, so fifty-five thousand men living in Jerusalem and it takes them literally fifty-two days! Fifty-two days to rebuild this wall! Incredible story, incredible testimony of God's faithfulness when we seek Him out and He gives us a vision and we walk that out by His grace, by His power, by His understanding. Then that's where we get to Nehemiah. Nehemiah, chapter eight is where we're going to be for a second, and then we're going to fast forward and see this legacy of our faith that's been left in scripture.
I’m going to read Nehemiah 7:66. It says, “A total of forty-two thousand, three hundred and sixty people returned to Judah. In addition, seven thousand, three hundred and thirty-seven servants and two hundred and forty-five singers." So Ezra and Nehemiah send a request again, for the exiles to come back. Those of you who have been exiled, come back to our land. Come back to this promised land that's been promised to us. Now you've got a hundred thousand or so, people in Jerusalem and in the surrounding areas of Jerusalem. We learn that they come back, go to their hometowns. Then we come to this day, much like today, of celebration. Chapter eight, verse one says this, “When the Israelites had settled in their towns, all the people assembled with a unified purpose, because they had been scattered among all these nations when they had been exiled from Jerusalem.” Their motherland! They had kind of forgotten who they were. It's literally at this point, been hundreds of years and they've forgotten who they are. In Nehemiah, they come and open up the book of the law and they say, “Let us tell you how good our God is and how faithful our God is.”
They go through the history of their people and they say, “Listen, this is where we turned our backs on God and this is where God was faithful in spite of us. This is what God has done.” The weirdest thing happens as they read through this book of the law. They begin to be unified in purpose, and understand that God is their source of strength. That God is the one true God, and He is the one thing that binds them together as they read through this book of the law. We learned that in the middle of chapter eight, that they're just broken, weeping and crying because they understand for the first time, even though it’s been hundreds of years, how good their God is and how their sin has just destroyed a nation, and vice versa.
Chapter eight, verse nine says, “Then Nehemiah, the governor, Ezra, the priest and teacher of the Law, and the Levi who were instructing the people, said to them, ‘Don't mourn or weep on such a day as this, for today is a sacred day before the Lord, your God.’” The people had all been weeping as they listened to the words of the law and Nehemiah continued. “Listen, go and celebrate with a feast of rich foods and sweet drinks and share gifts of food with people who have nothing prepared, and this is a sacred day before the Lord. Don't be dejected and sad, for the joy of the Lord is your strength.” The Levites, too. Everybody's in on this. At this point they're going, this isn't a day of mourning. I know that your sin has separated you from God, and I know that your sin has put us in exile, but you need to understand our God is still faithful. It says the Levites calmed the people telling then to hush and don't weep for this is a sacred day. So the people went away to eat and drink at a festive meal and to share God, to share gifts of food and to celebrate with great joy because they had heard God's words and they understood them for the first time.
Some of you guys this morning are here maybe for the first time on this day that we're celebrating here as a church, the closing of this chapter. Some of you guys desperately need to hear this, this morning, that I know you feel like you've been in exile. I know you feel like you've screwed it up and that there's nothing you can do to fix that and I need you to understand, you're correct there. There's nothing you can do to fix it, but our God can. Our God is faithful. Scripture teaches us that before you were even knit together in your mother's womb, He knew your name and He loves you and He's calling you to Him. God desperately wants you to know in spite of what you did last night, in spite of what you did on the way in this morning, in spite of what you're going to do, that when you leave this place, He adores you. So today's a day of celebration, just as Israel understood God's word, His purpose, His love, His plan, His restoration.
It's the Gospel, man, the Gospel, and to be clear, we all desperately need a Savior and His name is Jesus Christ. I know some of you guys have spent a whole lot of time trying to be gods of your own kingdom and you were never meant to be gods of your own kingdom. We make terrible gods, but God so loved the world that He gave His son Jesus Christ. Jesus says, “I came that you can have life and have it to the full,” not so that you can get out of hell. You need to understand that. That's not the gospel. The Gospel isn't a “get out of jail” free card. The Gospel isn't fire insurance. That's not the gospel. The Gospel is life to the full. It's not just about what happens after you die. It's about having a peace in spite of the circumstances that are surrounding you. It's about having a joy in spite of what people may say about you. It's about having assurance. Blessed Assurance. The old hymn says that no matter what road your kids are going down or no matter how the circumstances tend to play out this week, that you can be at peace, you can have rest, you can have joy, and it's because God came and He lived that life. God in the flesh. Jesus Christ came and He lived a life that found its total purpose in God. The Father, a sinless perfect life, and then He died a death that He did not deserve to die for me! To take my brokenness, to take my idolatry, to take my selfishness on the cross, to take it on Himself and not just to take my sin, but to impart His righteousness on me. In spite of my insecurities, in spite of my fears, in spite of my shortcomings, and in spite of my addictions. Scripture teaches that I'm the righteousness of God and when I understand the Gospel and who I am, my life begins to line up with who God has just declared I am because I'm living out of that hope. I'm living out of that freedom. This is what the Israelites understood for the first time, that our God is good, our God is gracious. So today, we celebrate His goodness. We celebrate His grace.
A lot of you guys have been fasting and for the last twenty-one days, we now celebrate bacon and donuts, right? We're a party in the day. The fast is over. Now we're walking where God would take us. It was never about this earthly kingdom. The Israelites discovered it was always about a greater kingdom. It was always about His kingdom, and then some four hundred fifty years later after the Israelites continued to be under the rule from the Macedonians, all the way to the Romans, about four hundred fifty years later, this man shows up and His name is Jesus. He basically says, you want to know what legacy is? You want to know what life is all about? He's been talking with His disciples in Mark, chapter eight. He's been calling them in and He says, “Listen guys, I need to let you know something about this legacy that you think I'm here for. We're not about to overthrow Rome. You don't understand. See this legacy is not about this world.” Paul talks about that over and over. Jesus says, “You don't get it.” He says, “I'm actually about a bigger kingdom.” And He says, as a matter of fact, “I'm getting ready to die. I'm going to be crucified.”
Peter, his best friend, stands up and says, “Over my dead body, that’ll never happen.” And Jesus tells him “Get behind me, Satan.” Jesus said. “You don't understand legacy. You don't really understand what life is about, but you'll understand. You'll understand eventually.” Then and this isn't just for his closest followers, He calls everybody in. Mark 8:34. He says, "Then calling the crowd to join his disciples.” He shares, “I want to make sure everybody's clear about this. I need you to hear what life is really about. I need you to understand the Gospel legacy.” He says, “If any of you wants to be my follower, you must go from your selfish ways, take up your cross and follow me.” In other words, you guys hear me say it every week, crucify yourself. Galatians 2:20. Lay down your rights daily. Crucify Shannon. Why? So that Christ can live. Crucify your insecurities. Why? So that Christ can live. Crucify your fears. Why? So that Christ can live. Crucify your selfishness, crucify self so that Christ can live. He says, “If you want to be my follower, turn from yourself, as well as take up your cross and follow me. If you try to hang onto your life, you'll lose it, but if you give up your life for my sake…” for His sake, for whose sake? His sake, that's it. There's one thing that matters. It's Christ, crucified, and He's now alive in us. That's it. He says, you try to find your life anywhere else, you'll lose it! Now y'all know you've walked through emptiness. You've walked through brokenness. Some of you are walking through it right now. I'm telling you, there's one thing that matters. That's Christ crucified and now alive, and because of that, He's alive in you, if you choose.
He says, if you try to hang onto your life, you'll lose it, but if you give your life for my sake, and for the sake of what? The good news, that's the gospel. You'll save it. What do you benefit if you gain the whole world while losing your soul? A good Jewish leader named Saul comes along and he thinks he's got life figured out. He actually says later on in the New Testament, that he was a Hebrew among Hebrews. He thought that he was it. Knew it all, had it all figured out. The best Sunday school teacher. I mean, just go down the list. He had it. Respected. Everyone loved him and then he meets Jesus! I'm telling you, doctors, lawyers, teachers, mothers, fathers, I don't care who you think you are and I don't care what you think you have, it means nothing outside of Jesus.
Paul meets Jesus on the road to Damascus and everything changes, as we’ve learned. I'm just going to summarize this quickly. You can look at it later if you go to the end, the very last verse in Acts. We get to the end of Acts and there is kind of a summary of Paul stories and the whole story of the early church. At the end of Acts, Paul is coming up on the end of his third missionary journey. Jesus has rocked his world. He's been beaten by this point. He's been whipped. He's been stoned. You name it. He's been through it and we get to the end of Acts and you find out that Paul goes to Rome and takes up residency. He’s responsible for himself.
What you don't understand and doesn't do it justice is that he went to Rome as a prisoner and just a little bit of quick history about how he got there. Paul shows up in Jerusalem because he was delivering funds to the church in Jerusalem that he collected from other churches. He gets to Jerusalem. All these Jewish leaders have found out that this Paul, that used to be a Hebrew among Hebrews, this guy that had it all together, has actually kind of sold out in their eyes and now he's hanging out with “those folks.” He's hanging out with people that aren't like him, with Greeks, with pagans, with people that aren't Jews, people that are not supposed to associated with. Paul understood that there's one thing that matters in this life and it's what, church? It's the Gospel. That's it. Period. He understood the Gospel.
He says, you know what, I'll cave, take me to the temple and I'll go through your ceremonial cleansing. He gets there and a lot of the other Jewish leaders start flipping out. The priests, and rabbis can't stand it because they've seen him earlier in the day with other Greeks and they're thinking you're going to come in here and defile this temple. They start a lynch mob. It is going nuts at this point. Now again, remember Jerusalem is under the rule of Rome at this point. Rome's saying, “We can't have these Christians and Jews causing chaos again. They're constantly causing trouble.” So they step in, pull Paul out, and protect him. They saved him. Eventually they decide that they have to get him out of Jerusalem because the Jews are freaking out. They have got to get him out of there.
So they decide they're going to take him to Caesarea by the sea. One of Herod's Palace is by the sea. By the way. I've been there. It's really cool. I got to go there a few months ago. They take him there and Scripture tells us again, it's in Acts. I think it's Acts 21. I think if you look in Acts 21, you will read that they took four hundred fifty guards to protect Paul. I need you to understand how many people were after Paul's life. Four hundred and fifty soldiers! That talks about overkill. Four hundred fifty soldiers marched Paul, specifically. They weren't going because they were going somewhere else. They marched Paul specifically to Caesarea by the sea. Paul gets there, realizes he's never going to get free. He’s never going to get a fair trial.
He's there for several months and he finally says, “I'm invoking my right as a Roman citizen. I deserve to be able to talk and plead my case to Caesar,.” They say, “You're right. You're a Roman citizen. This is what you get to do.” They decided to take him to Rome. They put him on a boat. Real quickly, a storm happens for thirteen days after he leaves. Paul's told them not to go that direction, you need to go this direction. They don't listen. They get ship wrecked. God spares everybody because Paul tells them, if you'll do what I say, God says he'll spare you. They wound up shipwrecked on the island of Malta. The people in Malta accept them and take them in for three months. When they first get there, Paul builds a fire and as he's building it, a poisonous viper bites him. Everybody looks at him. They think, Yeah, he must've been a murderer. See, God's getting even with him. He deserves to die. Paul says, no, no, no, and he doesn't die. Then all of a sudden they think, He must be a god. Let's worship him. Nope. There's one God. For Paul to live was Christ, as Keith talked about, to die is gain. To live is Christ, to die is gain. There's one thing that matters. What is it? There's one legacy that matters. Church, what is it? The Gospel. That's it! So Paul is there three months.
Finally, a ship from Alexandria comes in, and they take them off to Rome. Paul gets to Rome and he's in prison under house arrest for two years. Why does this matter? Because he writes Philippians, Ephesians, Galatians, and Philemon, while he's in prison, in chains in his house. Can't go anywhere. Under watch. Has a guard. Now check this out. Philippians, to piggyback off of where Keith was last week, Paul says in Philippians 1:20,” For I fully expect and hope that I'll never be ashamed, but I'll continue to be bold for Christ as I have been in the past and I trust that my life will bring honor to Christ, whether I live or die.” Guys, do you hear what Paul's legacy was all about? There was one thing that mattered to him. This is while he's in prison. He's writing a letter to the church at Philippi, in chains, can go nowhere with a Roman guard standing over him, and he says, “See, for me, living means living for Christ and dying is even better, but if I live, I can do more fruitful work for Christ, so I don't really know which is better."
Again, we talked a few weeks ago, he's torn between two worlds and I want you to understand how God used Paul in his circumstances. So many of you are coming in here this morning and you're saying, God, get me out of my circumstances. God, change my circumstances. You need to understand that God wants to use you right in the middle of your circumstances. Not for your satisfaction, not for your comfort, not for anything, except for Christ. Him crucified, and now alive in you. I'm telling you, when you can walk that out, when you can live that out, when you can understand that you were made for one purpose, and that's to find your hope, your meaning, your value, your significance, your worth, everything, then you are in Christ and in Christ alone. It’s not your 401K, not how you parent, not how many people love you, not how well you preach. It's nothing but Christ crucified and now alive in you. It brings a peace that passes all understanding. Paul gets that. He says in Philippians 1:12 at the beginning of this letter, “I want you to know.” Listen to this. He's in chains! “That everything that has happened to me has helped us spread…” What? The Good News! That sickness, that disease, that loss of job, your kids’ rebellion. Go down the list of life, right church? He says everything that has happened to me has helped us spread the Good News.
What's your purpose in life? What's your legacy really about? Listen to what he says next, “for everyone here, the whole palace guard…” Who was the palace guard,? They were Romans, they were pagans. They knew nothing of Yahweh's way, much less Jesus. And he says, "You need to understand that everybody, including the people who are guarding me in chains, know I'm here.” Why does this matter so much? Flip to the end of his letter, Philippians 4:23. Please don't miss this. As he's closing out his letter to the church at Philippi, he says, “Give my greetings to each of God's holy people, all who belong to Christ Jesus.” So he's saying, greet my brothers and sisters. He says the brothers who are with me, send you their greetings and, I love this man! Please don't miss it. All of the rest of who? God's people. Whose people? God's people. He's talking about his brothers and sisters in Christ. He says, all the rest of God's people send you greetings, especially those who were in Caesar's household. We're talking about the greatest power in the known world at that time. The hub of the world and Caesar's own household is coming to Christ. Why? Because of Paul's chains. Fast forward two years into his imprisonment. He gets out, he preaches about five more years. He comes back to prison in Rome, isn't there long, and they kill him. They execute him on an obscure Roman road with no fanfare. See, for Paul to live is Christ, to die is gain. Hurts. Why are we living?
My wife Natasha sent me a text right before I came out. She always sends me encouraging texts and right before first service this morning, she sent me a text that said, “Shannon, never forget. God is sovereign, so whatever happens with Southern Hills and City Station, whatever happens with our kids, whatever happens in our life, God is in control.” It's not my job to worry about this legacy that I'm leaving. It's my job to faithfully walk out who God has called me to be, step by step, by step by step, and trust him with the results. Where are you not trusting this morning? What are you scared to death you'll lose? What? What will you do anything for in order to gain it this morning? If it's anything other than Christ and Him crucified, it's wrong. Surrender that this morning and some of you this morning need to step out for the very first time and surrender your lives to Him.
I want you to hear this testimony from my good friend, Tim Albert. He's a physician at Tanner and God is just rocking his world. I think he would like to just share with you this morning. As we close this morning, as we sing, if you need somebody to talk to, if you need somebody to pray with, if you need somebody to pray over you, whatever it is that you need, I'll be over here. Other people will be over here. I would just love to help you begin to walk this out.
VIDEO: As a doctor, as a cardiologist, I am continually faced with the reality that there is something after me and there's something after people and that we have a defined period of time that we are alive. It's easy to kind of get caught up in life and work and success and achievements and not stop and think about that. That's something that I think I've done more of recently than in a long time. I've always been a very achievement oriented person. I set high standards, high goals academically, professionally, and I've been able to succeed a lot. I've been able to get into the top schools and go to the top programs and get the accolades and all that recognition recently. I have started to say, “Okay, well, are you better off because you did that than if you didn’t. Are you happier than you would be if you didn’t?
I'd say maybe I'm better off professionally, financially, all that, but that doesn't really kind of provide me with the happiness and the sense of peace that I want. That's also not the message I want to leave to my children about legacy. Legacy. It’s what's after you, once you leave. Some people could think it’s about what's the impression that people have of me. I think maybe some people would even try to define their legacy as they're alive and this is their legend in there, in the middle of it, and certainly having wealth, and a fancy car, and fancy vacations, and a beautiful wife. I have all those things that are part of what I have. But I realize that that's not what I want to define me. Those can go away, and as far as the house and the car, you can always have a bigger one, a newer one, a better one.
One of my heroes in the Bible, if you will, or someone that I always go back and read is Solomon. I love Ecclesiastes and there's a lot of things that are meaningless, meaningless, meaningless. But that's kind of the way that sometimes I need to bring myself down when I'm feeling pretty confident with what I'm doing, or what I can do and need the perspective that is provided. Those words, I feel like I've kind of tried that out a little bit. I've tried wisdom and knowledge and been successful at that and realize that all those things can provide great solutions, great answers, great help to humanity and who we are. I certainly try to do that daily in the way I practice with knowledge and wisdom and so forth.
In medicine, it doesn't provide you with peace and it doesn't provide you with a meaning that's long lasting, something financially, yes. I’ve had more financially than I ever anticipated I would. I’ve had fancy cars and all that and those are fun for awhile, but it doesn't last. So to me, I think the message of legacy that I want to leave is something that is going to last. It's not things that I can get with my hands. Not things that I can win with my logic or reasoning or something that I can acquire with more dollars. One of the things about legacy, too, and this is something I've just been thinking about, it's not something that I just think about, “Oh, what do people think about me when I'm gone.” It’s what am I going to think about myself when I'm going. Am I going to be content that I've done what I should have done, what I've been here on earth for, when I take my last breath.
And although by most people's standards, I've done pretty good so far, it doesn't satisfy me. It's not that people on the outside are telling me how I should behave or what I should do, or, okay, I’m in the south so this is the right thing to say. It's that internal barometer that says, I don't feel that I'm satisfied. I think how what everyone else tells me or what you read in the newspaper or see on social media should satisfy you. I've experienced a lot of that and it's not quite clicking. So that's really the legacy that I think about, as well as the one that I'm going to have with my last breath. Is it something that lets me say, “I was a good and faithful servant.”